LOS ANGELES— A trailer for the upcoming movie Guyz Rocket claims that the film will be “only [be] in theaters this Friday” despite the fact that it will also be in theaters for a few weeks after Friday, according to pedantic sources.
“This trailer just said Guyz Rocket was only going to be in theaters on Friday? Uh no? That’s literally not true,” said film buff Reuben Bradford. “I mean who worked on the marketing for this movie? Because they just made a huge mistake. I bet literally thousands of people are going to think the movie is only in theaters for one day, when in reality, it’s in theaters for many more days than that. That’s why theaters across the country are closing in record numbers – trailer editors are too lazy and stupid to have specific listings in their promotions. If it were up to me, the trailer would end “in theaters this Friday, plus a period of time after that, to be determined based on the quality of the film.”
Following widespread criticism, a representative from the production company that worked on the film issued an official apology.
“We are deeply sorry for the harm we have caused by saying that our new film Guyz Rocket would only take off in theaters this Friday. This was obviously a mistake – Rocket Guys fans will also be able to see their whimsical adventures in theaters for a few weeks after Friday – and we now know we should never have claimed such a thing,” said Dean Gaines, Chief from MachoMacho Productions. “We hope fans will continue to see Guyz Rocket in theaters, whether it’s this Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or one of the many other days the movie will be here. If this movie doesn’t make three times its budget, it’s going to devastate my career and I probably won’t be able to produce any more movies after the next decade or so.
As of press time, a new wave of COVID-19 has closed cinemas around the world, forcing Guyz Rocket to end all screenings after this Friday.